You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize