If that was your dad, he is hot
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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