Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
