I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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