theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
