Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
