she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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