Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
