We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
