you would pick up someone in the library
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
