planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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