it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
