i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
