Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
