I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
