I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
