i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
