dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
