i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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