i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Randomize
