Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
