He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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