Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
