East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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