i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize