he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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