we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
