did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude i'm inner monologue high
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
