What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
