Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
