I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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