the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
They have beer where we have blood.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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