I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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