doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize