apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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