girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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