i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
