Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
