Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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