Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
