what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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