There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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