you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
