wrigley field is MILF paradise
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
