he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
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