I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
