And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize