whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
