I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
