that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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