I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
