I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
