Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
