He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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