when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
