boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
