Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
