girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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