doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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