mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
