I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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