Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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