Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
