Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
