Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
