would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
