Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
