Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize