he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
