is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
