Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
